Are you getting the love you want is a common question… we never seem to talk much about receiving the love you want.
Why?
Well because we grow up believing that receiving is a given, it’s easy – a no brainer… yet when we really look at it… most people are horrible receivers.
Genuine receiving is not even on our radar… because to genuinely receive requires surrender of control and vulnerability.
Ground rules for receiving when I grew up were to graciously say thank you for what ever you are given – even if you don’t like it, and you didn’t even want it. Absolutely don’t want or ask for anything because that’s pushy, bossy and greedy and it’s way better to give anyway.
So how do we navigate around that?
Whether it’s actually articulated or not, we learn to stay safely in transaction. I do this thing for you, and you do this thing for me and vice versa; easy, with no feelings of indebtedness, guilt, discomfort, resentment or bitterness.
Trouble is it keeps us bouncing between entitled or unworthy. Neither state allows us to be in connection or fulfillment.
Recently a dear friend gave me a beautiful quilt that she made for me. The thoughtfulness of exactly what I would love, the gesture, the care, the hundreds of hours of painstaking work that went in to it… it was overwhelming.
It gave me the opportunity to dive deeply into what gets in the way of welcoming in the love and abundance of life, and how truly receiving organically fills you to overflowing.